Have you ever had moments in your life when some thought randomly comes to your mind and you think about how embarrassing it was at the time? All of a sudden you want to craw out of your skin again while at the same time wanting to get into a fetal position so you and escape that horrid memory. No? I have. Sometimes out of the blue I remember something that happened that makes me think “really?!” As I get older, I have the pleasure of experiencing more and more of those moments when I remember doing something uncomfortable or being in an uncomfortable situation.
The biggest reason that I’m irked by some of the events in my life is because some of the things that I find embarrassing are things that no one I know has experienced. Who do you know turned in a story about Harry Potter meeting Steve Jobs? at Hogwarts? I think about that nightmare all the time. Again really?! A story about Harry Potter and Steve Jobs? wtf. I think about the times when I had to ask for recommendation letters (that’s a fun thing to do, right?) and occasionally tearing up because I was too passionate or maybe even scared about what I was doing to tell my recommenders why they should write me a letter. I remember pinching my hands over and over again after leaving their office because I always felt like I could say something more or present myself better. Oh yeah there was that one time when my teacher kept butchering up my name and I never corrected him after a few tries. If you can’t tell,I’m a really shy person. Yeah so many awkward situations, so much embarrassment. There are more stories like this, but I’m done feeling embarrassed for the day.
I thought about this as I woke up this morning and for some reason the Harry Potter and Steve Jobs story came to mind.Then, a trail of other embarrassing memories followed. So my message to myself and others is to get over yourself. See, one of the biggest issues with remembering all these embarrassing things is that it’s very hard to move on and do other things like it later on. Each time I ask for recommendation letters I get jittery because I’m always scared it’s going to be awkward again. I’m always hesitant to say things or do things because I don’t want to experience embarrassment. However, embarrassment is normal in life so once again, I need to get over it. All of these things that we are embarrassed by are trivial. They didn’t make national headlines or anything so we’re technically not forced to remember these events. The way that I think about is that 5 years or ten years from now, the memory of embarrassment will be harder to take in and the others involved probably won’t remember it because they’re too busy thinking about things in their lives that have made them embarrassed. So I guess the take home message is that you’re not that important. Go out and have awkward experiences. No one will remember it.