So this week I had to deal once again with the idea that life isn’t fair. This week a lot of people that I knew started medical school. While I’m happy for a large majority of them, there was one that made me start to cuss profusely when I saw her profile picture. There she was, in her white coat, talking about how it’s the start of her achieving her dreams and shit. It made me so mad that she’s doing so well because in truth, she’s never been a nice person in my eyes.
I’ve known this girl since I was in elementary school. In all the years that I’ve known her, I find that she’s manipulative. It’s really the only word I know to describe her. See, boys and girls, there’s this thing called puberty that everyone goes through and sometimes people get really mean when they go through it. This girl was no exception. I never understood why she was so mean. I don’t think I ever did anything to make her feel threatened or anything. And, I’ve never been mean to her. The thing is, some people are just mean because they are. One time I thought I was having a really good time with her and this other girl and then they decided to go to the bathroom to talk about me. Then they tried to do that thing where they’re trying to be secretive, but they also want you to know that they’re talking about you. Me, being the sensitive kid that I was just started to cry. I’m crying now just thinking about it. For years, I tried to avoid her, even though our parents are friends ,and we went to the same church. She and her friend were the reason why I didn’t like going to church. They were always together, looking shifty, talking about people. One time they were gossiping about how one of my friends didn’t have a bra on. Who gives a crap about that?
Of course, like every mean girl that I’ve known, this one was boy crazy. So when this one boy was talking to my friend a lot, the mean girl decided to talk shit behind her back. Not only that, she decided to make me gain up on her. I remember one time while my friend and I were in her car and she talked about how mean this girl and her friend were. Her dad told us that some people were like that. As an avid Christian, his advice was to pray about it. Cut to a few years later, my friend buddies with this mean girl, and I hardly talk to her anymore.
I suppose that’s what’s so unfair about all of this. I do everything right yet I get the short end of the deal. I feel that I put in more effort than she does into my work. Yet, even though she doesn’t do as much, she still comes out on top. She’s the type of person who tries to look good on paper, becoming officers in clubs in high school but doesn’t really taking responsibility for the role. I could go on and on about how unfair it is that I get the short end of the stick when I try to live a decent life and someone like her is doing so well.
I’m done being tormented by the undeserving success that comes her way. I’m tired of living a life where all I can think about is how unfair it is that her life is better than mine in some ways. It’s time to stop living a life focusing on someone who makes us miserable. It’s time to accept that life isn’t fair on many occasions. It’s not okay to stoop to the living standards of a mean girl and base my life’s success and happiness on comparing her life to mine.
I’ve let her bother me for too long. I’ve felt bad about myself because of someone who is morally beneath me. That is not the way to live. It’s sad to think that all this time someone that worthless is able to make me jealous. It’s sad to realize how much this person has affected my life. There are many lessons to learn from experiences like this. First, learn to rise above people who have badness in their heart. They are not worth your time of day, ever. Why must we revolve our lives around them? Why spend time thinking about how unfair life is? The second thing is to set your own standard. Base your happiness off of yourself and not off of someone who torments you. Surround yourself with good people and be complacent and thankful for once in the happiness you do have. Do not search for satisfaction where there is none.